speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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