I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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