you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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