They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
