At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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