Little spoons don't ask big questions
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
