Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
