You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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