I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
