The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
