We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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