just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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