I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
