Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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