Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
