Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Shame - the story of my life.
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