I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize