He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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