If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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