Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
