So gin and wine won't be happening again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize