eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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