thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
