dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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