the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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