She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
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Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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