All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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