is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
