____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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