Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize