Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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