Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he thought i was a dude.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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