I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
