my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish they made helmets for livers.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
