I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
