Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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