Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
