How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
