Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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