And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
