Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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