Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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