problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
