I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
