Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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