Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
