Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport http://tfl.nu/bmz0

Replies (25) Good night (5086) Bad night (775)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8

Replies (17) Good night (997) Bad night (3060)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/dbsh

Replies (10) Good night (3341) Bad night (966)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being. http://tfl.nu/247a

Replies (13) Good night (3789) Bad night (1472)
Favorite
(705): View more from Ontario

I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(705): I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith http://tfl.nu/hj9t

Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (848)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/lsvs

Replies (4) Good night (2453) Bad night (927)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

Replies (5) Good night (2928) Bad night (491)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u

Replies (7) Good night (780) Bad night (917)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row. http://tfl.nu/22so

Replies (6) Good night (369) Bad night (628)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP. http://tfl.nu/0qve

Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (840)
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover http://tfl.nu/hzmj

Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (612)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food http://tfl.nu/2i31

Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (581)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help

(630): View more from Illinois

My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help

(630): View more from Illinois

This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help (630): My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help (630): This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can http://tfl.nu/n0mf

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (409)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat. http://tfl.nu/skma

Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (361)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!" http://tfl.nu/nmzl

Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (170)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard