what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
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Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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