I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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