Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?