The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i love accidental penises.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
