At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
