their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
