in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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