it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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