Soap is not a condiment
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
