my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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