just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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