Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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