We're like a lot better than the average bears
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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