Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
