i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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